D3CYCLING.COM

Early Bird Crit #1

2011-01-10T12:36:00.000-08:00

Original Post on http://norcalcyclingnews.com

Team Bell Lap Trailer

2010-12-15T15:22:00.000-08:00

Hellyer Testarossa Velodrome Challenge Recap

2010-11-28T15:25:00.000-08:00

TRACKIES DISCUSS TRACK NATZ COVERAGE

2010-10-01T15:05:00.000-07:00

HELLYERITES HEADING TO NATIONALS IN LA

2010-09-29T15:04:00.000-07:00

Friday Night Carpool to Hellyer

2010-09-17T15:01:00.000-07:00

Testarossa Velodrome Challenge Night #2

2010-06-16T13:08:00.000-07:00

At this point I’m sure your ready for some non-track related posts. Let me get this out of my system and then I will move onto important topics such as which million dollar bike won up at Sattely, or the injustice of the LARPD CX series being discontinued.

Overall the weekend was dominated by Jame Carney. Carney said he was feeling sluggish going into Saturday night but ended up “Riding like a swan.” To be frank, I don’t think that the expression was the most masculine way to describe a series of ass kickings Carney laid down on the NorCal (and West Coast for that matter) track community. Ben Jacques Mayne even showed up to give it a go and Carney swooped both the Scratch race and Points race from Hellyer’s BMOC. BJM does win for best TVC Twitter post… here is the quote, not sure how Twitter copyrights work so here it goes, “Dave McCook for the win if there’s any justice in the world!” you don’t hear that too much…

There were additionally dominant performances from the other T-Town/ADT regulars in attendance Laura McCaughey, David Espinoza, and Jimmy Watkins. It was enough to give Hellyer an inferiority complex. Sure, I guess our big guns (aside from BJM who probably did a 100 mile ride in the AM to prep for NVGP) like Shelly Evans and Daniel Holloway are out of town being all pro and stuff, but the T Town domination of the elite events sure made it clear that the next generation of Hellyer-ites need to step up. If they don’t then I’m either going to have to step up my psychological warfare against T Town or move to a different track.

Luckily we saw a few standout performances on Saturday that give one hope. Beth Newell lived up to her potential and lost a narrow battle in the Miss and Out (2nd) and Scratch Race (3rd) to get her on the top steps of the podium. Pete Billington put himself on the national map with a third place in the Sprints against much more seasoned competition. And the biggest pull of the night has to be Daniel Farinha who rode a fantastic points race, with junior gearing i might add, to get third place against a top notch field filled with pro’s, journeymen and the various ronin of west coast tracks. Farinha just became the Luke Skywalker of Hellyer Velodrome… let’s hope he’s got another year of high school before college ruins him.

(UPDATE: Word on the street is Farinha graduated on Friday! Hope you pick a college with a good cycling program!) Even though they weren’t wins each one of these riders put it down and moved up a notch with their performances.

Next up at the track… More crazy Friday Nite Fights on June 25. Wear a superhero costume and get a free beer or something.

Originally published in Norcalcyclingnews.com

Testarossa Velodrome Challenge Night #1

2010-06-14T13:23:00.000-07:00

It was a warm day down at Hellyer but the racing gods looked down kindly at us visiting the temple today and slowed the wind down to a soft tropical breeze as the racing started. There was plenty of drink and food flowing, and Hernado was in fine form as he found "The Voice" to keep the crowd entertained and buzzing. Here are a few highlights that stood out in my mind.

Montano Velo Keirin - Jimmy Watkins showed up with his Felt team entourage and just schooled the field in the Finale, finishing with such a lead that he was able to easily raise his arms in a victory salut. The real revelation of the race was Sam Milroy who just dismantled his heat with a win about about 10 meters and then hung in the Finale to finish third. Sam may have just moved up from being a local hot shot to West Coast phenom.

Jame Carney - I dunno if he is smarter, fitter, or just luckier but Carney really showed the field that he is a master tonight. Carney won his Keirin heat, won the Miss and Out and then lapped the field in the Madison. You might have well called it "Track School By Jame Carney" out there.

SportVelo Women' Points Race - This was easily the most exciting race to watch. Shelly Evans was a marked woman so team mate Ruth Winder cleverly took the first sprint before Hanan Alves-Hyde launched herself into what looked like a suicide attack. Hanan got a half a lap as the field waited for a reaction but nothing came - all eyes stayed on Evans who was content to play her own game of poker. Hanan dug for the next ten laps hanging on with a quarter to half a lap lead to win the sprint but she held a tenuous lead. Vanderkitten Reither bridged whcih was enough to give Hanan a break and lap the field before the last sprint. A great gamble and tactical race by Hanan who has been on the comeback trail for most of the year. Evans won the last sprint putting her in third place making a great pay day for the Peanut Butter riders.

Originally published with photos in Norcalcyclingnews.com

Must See TVC

2010-06-10T14:25:00.000-07:00

There are a handful of must see cycling events in the bay area

1. The San Francisco Twilight Crit (Bring it back!)
2. The San Rafael Twilight Crit (July 10!)
3. The Pilarcitos night time cross race (A little taste of awesome)
4. The Testarossa Velodrome Challenge 6 PM Fri June 11 & Sat June 12

Arguably the TVC is the best bang for your buck - while parking at Hellyer Velodrome costs $6 and you are best served if you take the carpool lane down there are distinct advantages. The beer is free and plentiful and the prize money usually attracts a top flight field. t is worth the drive to watch pro’s, Olympians, and world champions square off against each other on 335 meters of concrete. The race is so big it draws the track specialists from not just NorCal but around the globe. Here is a quick primer to help you keep score.

The Locals

Shelly Evans - Not content to be just one of the best in NorCal Evans moved onto the world stage last year with huge performances on both the track and road. Evans has shifted her focus from the track to the road since the UCI has taken a hatchet to the track endurance program and her specialty the points race. Expect Evans to show up one night before taking off for Nature Valley Grand Prix and the Giro.

Dave McCook - McCook is a former pro, multiple national champion, and local legend. He’s a fierce competitor when ever he’s racing and is always fun to watch when there is money on the line.

Beth Newell - She sprints, she climbs, she writes! Newell does it all and after a successful spring campaign on the road is putting the rest of her energy this year toward the track. She’s out for some cash this weekend, needs a new washer or something, so keep an eye on the “Bell with Wing.”

Others to watch: Sam Milroy, Matt Talbott

The Sprinters

Jimmy Watkins - Watkins is currently one of America’s best sprinters having won all the big events at nationals in 2008. He’s a full time fire fighter making him a model for all cyclists with a day job and passion for their sport. Watkins currently holds the Hellyer record for the flying 200 clocking10.84 last year.

Gio Rey - Gio is a local boy currently riding for UCI Track outfit out of Colorado called Black Dog Cycling. Gio is a ronin of the sprinter set having traveled across the country and world trying to learn the best techniques to out smart stronger rivals. Gio’s come close a few times in the keirin, this may be his year.

Steve Peleaz - He’s skinny, tall, and known for spouting off more pop philosophy than Dr. Phil. Peleaz has spent some time on the World Cup circuit riding for the Philippines so he knows what it takes to compete at the highest level. He’s got the speed and the guts to make it in any type of track race, and is hungry after a narrow loss to big man Gideon Massie last year in the Keirin.

Others to watch: Pete Billington

The Interlopers

Jame Carney - Carney is a legend in track circles. Some say he’s never lost a Miss and Out on American soil. He’s experienced, cagey, and fast. If the A-Team was being redmade from cyclists he’d be your Hannibal. Carney knows the rule book and isn’t afraid of going toe to toe with the officials as well as riders if it means getting the big win. Watching Carney and McCook go at it will be a battle for the ages.

Laura McCaughey - Hailing from Australia - McCaughey makes T-Town her home in the summer. Her favorite event is the keirin and last year she was relegated for impeding Carri Higgins in the final sprint. McCaughey rebounded and won the sprint event the next day, so inside line is she’s a good bet for the sprint events. Smart money is on McCaughey for the scratch race if Olds doesn’t show up

Others to watch: TJ Mathieson , Jen Triplett, Tela Crane, Jen Featheringill

The Old and Young Folk

Daniel Farinha - Farinha has been scaring the crap out of Hellyer-ites with his riding this year. He’s super fast and still riding Junior gears - what’s going to happen when he gears up? If this boy can hang with the big gears expect him to be in the money.

Larry Nolan - When god made man he realized he made some mistakes so he went back and made what ever Larry is. In addition to be a masters world champion and world record holder Larry runs a Hellyer race series and coaches the Specialized juniors team. The man is LEGEND. And he’s fast.

Pat Briggs - Briggs is a Hellyer stalwart and has been riding his guts out in support of the fledgling Yahoo! Cycling team. The experiment has appears to be succeeding as they dominate the local scene and have started making their mark on some national level races. Look for Briggs to break out a big race or two now that he can bust a cap on his own.

Others to watch: Ruth Winder, Tom Fahey, Doug Hall

Dialing It In

2009-11-15T15:15:00.000-08:00

Written for Cyclocross Magazine: Unpublished

Even thought cyclocross is full of low maintenance athletes (they drink beer right after the race!) it is a high maintenance sport. When I started I underestimated the amount of work it would take to dial in my bike and the race set up process. The whole procedure took me from 2005-2008, four seasons, to get it most of the way there. It was painful and rewarding in a way reminiscent of dentist visit in which they find no cavities. There is temporary discomfort, shame for not brushing enough, relief that all is in order, and an eventual realization at the cost of your endeavor.

My first year was plagued by bad decisions and a lack of knowledge about what I was getting into. My $100 Craig’s-listed Gunnar Crosshairs seemed like a great bargain. I built it up and only had to get help from my Local Bike Shop, when my lack of knowledge about center pull brakes made me cry uncle. I showed up to my first race; still remember it like yesterday, at Candle Stick Park right outside San Francisco. After my first warm up lap my pedaling felt funny. I pulled over by my car and realized my crank was not a little loose; it was flapping like a noodle. I was able to tighten it up with hex wrench and roll over towards the start (my warm up laps had been good, so I was stoked.) On my way over to the start I got a piece of glass stuck in my brand new yellow tufo clincher/tubular which had taken me three days to put on. I was riding it at about 30 PSI and was killing it in the corners but it seriously took me three days to put it on. Day one was several failed attempts. Day two was success at getting it almost on, day three was success! And day four was tire number two. Needless to say, there were not any neutral wheels and I was not able to race.

I thought I was prepared for my next race. I brought some extra wheels. They were road wheels, with road tires but I figured their mere presence would protect me from getting another flat in a parking lot. I got a good start; I was close behind the #2 rider in my Men’s C race when I came to a rough grass section. My adjustable Look stem, which is not a cheap piece of equipment, looked super bad ass on my bike. I thought it dialed in my handlebar position perfectly so I could nail the corners and stay in a good position the whole race. When I hit the grass the force of my none too svelt upper body pushed the handlebars into an aero position that is definitely banned according to UCI rules. It was impossible to ride any of the technical sections with my handle bars sitting inches above my front wheel. I found that if I carefully jerked the handlebars up I could get them into a ride able position which would hold until I hit anything rough, which sadly was most of the course. I found myself trying to ride the aero position I was being forced into more and more just so I didn’t have to keep adjusting the handlebars. I was able to finish the race, despite some back pain, and bruised ego and went straight to the bike store to replace the stem.

At this point my cheap $300 DYI cross project had turned into a $1000 that albatross that could have been solved by a new bike. The next year I bought a new bike which solved most of my mechanical problems. I tricked it out with some Spynergy Spock Carbon Wheels which also looked super bad ass. The Spynergies turned out to be the all time worst purchase I ever made for cyclocross. On my first ride I hit a rock and a piece of the carbon chipped off. I was able to ignore it for a few rides but it became progressively bigger until it was rubbing noticeably on my brake and make stopping too difficult. An engineering friend of mine who specialized in materials for military grade products patched it up so it was rideable which held up until my next ride at which point the wheel started breaking on the opposite side. I do not know how the previous owner rode these wheels in Cat 2 cross races in southern California as he claimed, but either he weighed 110 pounds or they ride on feathers down there. My friend and I ended up patching each wheel multiple times to the point that they looked like they should be on the Judd’s jalopy.

Poor wheels aside the new Giantseemed to cut out a lot of the issues, but this luck did not carry over into my third season. For some reason, I did not get rid of the bad luck wheels. I put new tires on them and patched up an additional crack that had appeared. The wheels felt like a job you can’t quit because you are getting paid so well. Anything else would have been a step down, not practically, but aesthetically. These were deep dish carbon wheels; I looked totally Sven Nys pro! Sure he didn’t have weird little patches holding his wheels together, or annoying white spokes that no bike store within 100 miles had a wrench that could true it up…but I was committed. These wheels had a lot of time and money put in them at this point. An so commenced my worst season ever.

The carbon wheels failed anytime I tried to race them of course… mostly it would be additional cracks, which I stopped repairing, but eventually the tired picked up on the general rebellion and malaise and stopped inflating. The wheels would inflate for practice rides or late night wrenching sessions but soon as I started racing I would be picking up my Gunnar in the pit. I ended up finishing every single race on my Gunnar and rarely made it into the top 20 at each race which I had been doing in the previous year. The Gunnar, while reliable, weighed about 23 pounds make it smooth on the rough spots but horrible for running and climbing. My wheels had developed an attitude problem that spread to the rest of my bike and even to the Gunnar. When I put on functioning wheels the free wheel got sticky pulling my chain off, when I fixed the free wheel my derailleur cable fell off. The final act of rebellion for the season concluded at the last race where I went through three bikes, which culminated in a broken seat post that drove the nose of the saddle straight up in the air prohibiting me from sitting down for the last two laps of the race. I was determined that 2008 would not suck.

I started my purchases for Project 2008 Will Not Suck in March. I started with some reliable Kyserium Mavic tubulars, then a new Giant frame, I swapped over my trusty Dura Ace group from my road bike, Vittoria tires, and then fixed up my older Giant as my pit bike. I did not throw away the crappy wheels, I don’t know what it is about them that makes me hold on so, but I took them out of rotation… permanently. The new rig was lighter, and sharper than my previous Giant, likely do to the Easton 90 fork. This bike rocked! I had one mishap my second race in which I kept dropping a chain. A master rider, and multiple national champion, chided me for not having a chain watcher… “Inexcusable” he said. The comment stung, I went from the lead to third after my chain fell off multiple times, I took it as advice and grabbed the first chain watcher I could find the following week. And while 2008 was not without its challenges – such as getting called out of race because my wife was in labor, it turned out to be my best season ever.

I found the challenge was not in dialing the bike in, but in turning each set back into a lesson that I could learn from. Dialing my bikes in took time, money, and therapy –but my first successful season was worth every penny.

Two Things: UCI Moron’s and Track Natz

2009-10-09T14:33:00.000-07:00

Bad News First: In a well meaning attempt to provide men and women equal opportunities at the Olympic’s the UCI may cut the Points Race, Madison, and Pursuit from Olympic events. While the proposals adds Omnium this effectively kills endurance racing at the Olympic level. With the previous elimination of the Kilo this leaves Sprints, Team Sprints, Keirin, Team Pursuit, and Omnium. I assume this is intended to make better television viewing since normal people have touble following the Madison and Pursuit, the same way American’s used to have trouble following the puck in hockey games. This is a drag for US Olympic hopefuls like Hellyer-ites Shelly Olds and Hollaway, as well as gold medal contenders like Phinney and Hammer. I have a couple of suggestions for the UCI -

1. Run some test events - don’t do this without some kind of program development. Making it up and going live is just bad business… take it from Silicon Valley types folks, a cold launch is never a good idea.

2. Team Sprint/Team Pursuit: Blech! the only thing more boring than individual timed events are team timed events. It looks cool for the first two entries…then you kinda tune out.

3. Keep the Madison! - This race has more potential than anything out there. Its exciting, physical, and crazy. Seems like some education and better promotion would get people stoked to watch this insanity.

Good News! US Track Natz concluded on the weekend and Hellyer-ites had some breakout performances. I know its not our schtick to be critical but I was a little disappointed because I was expecting Shelly and Hollywood to dominate. Not in the win several medals manner, more in the win everything they entered manner. I will admit its a little messed up because between them they won 5 medals* (Dholla - 2, Olds 3) including one gold for Olds the scratch race. Hollaway had several dominant rides at Natz but i was thinking he would be all “Taylor Phinney” on everybody’s ass due to his Six day racing last year which seemed to take him to a new level of confidence (if that was possible.) Olds had similar success in Europe last year and just dominated the crit scene over the summer becoming, IMHO, the dominant fast chick in the US. So… while i expcted more the level of competition was higher, and their results should not be surprising given that they have both been racing non stop and are shortly heading back into Six Day/World Cup season on the track within the next few weeks.. I am pretty excited to see what they break out this winter overseas… so don’t freak out, I still think they rule.

The nig news are the break out performances from the other Hellyer-Ites in attendance. Roman Killun was able to put in a solid ride against the ingenue Mr. Phinney for second in the pursuit. Brian Peterson and Beth Newell both turned in top 10 performances. Brian and Beth seem to jump a level every six month so 2010 will be fun to watch since they seem to be interested in pursuing results at these nationals level competitions. Steve Palaez had a good ride in the Omnium winning the sprint event and managing an 8th place overall. He also medaled in the team pursuit with fellow Hellyer-ite smarty pants Roman K. Secret Hellyer-ite (i call him secret cause he fly’s under the radar most of the time) Rob Meyer squeaked in a podium appearance with a fifth place in the pursuit. If i take out the pro’s he’s essentially the first amateur (i think of Broadmark as a regional pro team like the Cal Giant boys.) I don’t think Rob’s been racing on the road that long so we need to get this guy a little closer in the Hellyer-ite fold… he could be AWESOME (imagine that being said in falsetto)

Our sprinters were especially hot down on the wood boards of LAX. The LTO Team of Gio, Pete, and Sam Millroy all put in good rides. The highlight from the LTO boys has to be Pete Billingtons smoking kilo (01:06.50) and subsequent podium (5th.) The LTO boys are getting fast, which is good since the US Sprinter quality seems to be on the rise. Next year the LTO boys should be killing the sprint events up and down the coast. Of course this means they will turn further down the path of thug life and develop further into freakish looking mounds of muscle, but what can you do…thats the price of speed.

Overall… it was a good year for Hellyer-ites at Nationals. Word is there is a Ride the World Cup coming up in a few weeks… stay tuned for more info. The Hellyer fun never stops!

*ed. note: I should add I am only counting 1st, 2nd, and 3rd as medal spots. IMHO 4th and 5th are “podium” spots and not real medal spots even though USAC gives you a “friendship medal”…not that i have ever gotten one. I just got in a wiked long argument with el presidente peterson about this and he is SO wrong!

Originally published in Norcalcyclingnews.com

Jaysus! Vegas, FVD, Chad, and Astana

2009-09-30T14:30:00.000-07:00

First off we had a great trip to Vegas for Interbike. I love that place, pure and simple. The show itself is remarkable for how similar it is each year. Here is my oversimplification of what was going on at the show this year.

1. Fixed Gear/Single Speed - Its gone big time…felt like everybody had something to show here and several smaller booths were specializing in this product line. The San Jose Mob are hardcore Hellyer-ites, maybe the rest of the bay area fixies will get inspired as the movement grows.

2. MetriGear Vector Power Meter - Dude - it’s freaking Star Trek in its coolness. It’s james bondian in its size. It’s VHS ian in its importance to using power in your daily training. Most importantly … its NorCal born and bred. Can’t wait to see this puppy in action. It is going to be geek city once all the local pro’s start showing up with their beta versions, getting the local cycler-ati all jazzed up to go spend their money on these little guys.

Other than that the highlight for me was Cross Vegas - I wasn’t thrilled with the set up. It was harder to get beer and to traverse the course, but the crowd looked the same size even though Lance totally flaked out this year (pansy.) It was the best race I have seen there as two up and comers took the bull by the horns and shook up the US Cross Pros. Local Sac boy Chris Jones took it to the pack early and worked with Jamey Driscoll to stay away for the entire race and land himself a second place spot on the podium. With Wicks going all Mtn bking and the Jacque Mayniac’s focusing on the road it was sweet to have a NorCal boy on the podium at a big event.

In other news….

The news of Frank Vandenbrouckes death caught me by surprise. I figured he would be kicking around forever, making me giggle with his silly euro hair, and crazy new teams, and running naked through the yards of his Belgian neighbors. Underneath the drama and drugs was a sick man. It is hard to think of the Euro Stars as real people. The recent plight of Chad Gerlach was even more surprising and sad. For one Gerlach is local, and we have all heard about his heroic performances the last year. There is not small amount of satisfaction we take in watching our local pro’s excell and succed. Secondly the story was inspiring. For anybody that has battled the demons Gerlach had seemingly overcome it was a survivors tale that looked like it could give Lance a run for his money. The reality is, the set backs, and losses when dealing with addiction, mental health issues, and just regular life for that matter - outweigh the victories. For talented athletes who have such a propensity to win such challenges must appear easy, yet prove impossible. A quote from the Sacremento Bee’s article which broke the story stood out ‘Local drug counselor David Husid sees little hope for the fallen champ. “Until he… realizes he’s just an average guy, he’s never going to figure it out.”

As the news broke there was a lot of shock, and what can be interpreted as hope for recovery, in the NorCal cycling community. While the comeback started out as a great story the real win for Gerlach will be if he can find a more solid anchor for his life in his young new family.

Drugs, drugs, drugs…. I found it interesting that these stories were breaking around the same time as the AFLD announced “incongruous substances” found in medical equipment, which has lead to a broader investigation by French authorities. The phrase “French authorities” always makes me giggle since they seem to be more willing to make a fuss, but less willing to indict anybody than the Spanish authorities. I will give it to the Italians, CONI, at least they seem to be going after anybody when they get on the trail of somebody they think was a doper. With all that in mind, I am still pondering how to weigh harmony in cycling vs. exposing cheaters. The focus on Astana strikes me as a red herring since Bruyneel’s trade craft is so strong i find it unlikely that his team would get busted by equipment they turned over in a public waste disposal mechanism. Since AFLD’s revelation did not seem to have an immediate point, other than to embarras the UCI, i can only assume it is part of some long complicated plot being developed to catch Lance Armstrong in a lie.

Originally Published in NorCalcyclingnews.com

Team Radio Shack Recruitment Transcripts Part I: The NorCal Raid

2009-09-01T14:38:00.000-07:00

“Ben Jacques Maynes just wrote his ticket to Europe!”

~ Announcer Dave Towle during BJM’s second place finish at the Nevada City Classic.

The following was translated from a Belgian/Dutch blog http://www.wielerflits.nl/, that follows all the pro cycling trade rumors. Stage and dialogue instructions have been added since Hernando wanted to re-enact some of this at Hellyer's Friday Night Fights.

Scene: Millionaire cottage in the mountains near Aspen. We zoom in on a quiet kitchen table scene of Lance Armstrong at breakfast table drinking coffee and reading the paper while he watches several kids splash about in a pool. The pool is being monitored by girlfriend, nanny, lifeguard and two body guards. Phone rings and Lance picks up a portable phone. Its Johan Bruyneel who has a slightly Germanic accent that sounds like Friedrick the Caterpillar from “A Bugs Life.”

Johan: Lance, Lance – Its silly season – my favorite! What do we want this year for our new Team Radio Shack?

Lance (slightly annoyed): Johan – we discussed this I want the Schleck brothers.

Johan (his voice is depressed, you can tell he’s pouting) – I’m sorry Lance, no go on Scleckies… that Saxo Bastard 60 percenter Riis has them so locked up they can’t pee without his permission. Good thing too…he he he.

Lance: Dammit Johan – I told you to get me “the shit” and beside “Alberta”, the Shleck brothers are “the shit!” You sure there is nothing we can do?

Johan: Sorry my liebchen, nothing…

Lance: F-It then! Just get me some brothers… I want something that will beat that dumb-ass Luxembourg-brothers-that-love-each-other story!

Johan: Hmm… what about the Feillu brothers… they are so cute!

Lance: What? Are you joking me? What would we do with a couple of French dudes…. Jesus Johan – why don’t you strive for a little more mediocrity. I’m Lance Armstrong – I mock the French, I taunt the French, I tease the French – I take money out of France, I don’t send it back in. Remember Cofidis? Remember L’Equipe? Remember Pruddy? The only good thing about France is Hinault, and that’s only cause that redneck snail eater still makes LeMond so freaking crazy its worth his backwater ramblings. I’ll just pretend you never mentioned the Fillis brothers.

Johan: Fei-LU brothers… its has a nice ring!

Lance: Drop it Johan…

Johan: Well… there is the Jacque Maynes brothers…

Lance: Jesus – I just said no French!

Johan: No, No Lance – He’s the boy that rode with you and Levi at Nevada city! You don’t remember?

Lance: Johan – I meet about 100 people a day, I’m a busy guy, every body wants a piece of me. I don’t even know my kids birthdays…I have to pay an assistant to twitter that kind of stuff for me, I don’t delve into those details unless I have to… what was his name again?

Johan: Ben Jacque Maynes – he’s very nice, has a cute little family, very nice legs (I keep reading about them in Norcalcyclingnews.com) and he can time trial… and best of all… he has a twin brother…Andy – they ride on the same team now.

Lance: Are you shitting me - twins? That would definitely get some ink next year. It would be like Playboy Special Edition but with our team in it! Get him on the phone – I want to talk. Wish I could remember what he looked like. Send me a file on him and set up the interview.

Johan: Will do Lancey boy!

Lance: And Johan – Make sure they aren’t French – I don’t want another cluster f@#$ like Astana.

Scene: Best Western Landmark Inn, one block form Tanger Outlet Center. Simple American style hotel room. TV is on. Ben is lying in bed, Andy still has his kit on and Paul Mach is lying in the other bed with just his shorts on. They looked exhausted and each has a can of beer in his hand staring at the TV blankly. The phone rings and Paul answers.

Lance: I’m looking to get in touch with Ben Jacques Maynes – he there?

Paul: Yep, hold on a sec [puts hand over mouth of phone] Ben – its for you, sounds like the press again. [Turns to Andy and makes a face to indicate what a good joke that was.]

Ben: Hello – This is Ben.

Lance: Ben – this is going to sound weird. I just got the number of your director from Jim Ochweisz who put me in touch with your hotel. Now I’m going to tell you something and I don’t want you to hang up on me. This is Lance Armstrong and I’d like to talk to you about riding for Team Radio Shack

[Ben – looks blankly at the TV. There is a quiet pause. Ben gently hangs up the phone. Flash to Lance in his Aspen cottage. He’s getting dressed in a tux while talking on his mobile phone headset.]

Lance: Dammit – this always happens.

[Lance furiously dials the phone.]

Lance: Yells into the phone. OCH! Get this Jacque Maynes kid to call me and make sure he’ knows this isn’t a joke! [Hangs up] God damn it… I can’t call anybody without them hanging up on me. [Lance puts on cuff links and phone rings]

Lance: This is Lance, talk to me!

Ben: Hi Lance, this is Ben Jacque Maynes, I’m REALLY sorry about that. We just finished the Tour of Utah and are exhausted. I just figured it was another one of Mancebo’s practical jokes. He does the best impression of you!

Lance: No problem - happens all the time. So tell me Ben... are you friends with the Spaniard?

Ben: You mean Mancebo? I know him from around… I wouldn’t say we are friends exactly, he doesn’t speak a lot of English to be honest.

Lance: Hmm… let me ask you something. Could you learn to hate him?

Ben: I… uh… not sure what you mean.

Lance: Lets just make this a hypothetical question and take personalities out of the mix… lets say there was a Spanish rider, and the team asked you to hate him would you do that?

Ben: Well… “hate” is not really my style. I’m a NorCal guy at heart… peace, love, summer of 69 and all that. I grew up in Berkeley, hippie central, we don’t do a lot of “hate” per say.

Lance: Let’s just say… this individual… doesn’t have to be Spanish, I was just picking that out of thin air… let’s just say this individual took every thing you hold dear… like say your bike, your job, cheated your out of prize money, race glory and so on. Could you learn to hate him?

Ben: [Long pause] Sure – I mean if this person took my livelihood sure I would definitely not like them.

Lance: So does “not like” mean the same thing as “hate” to you?

Ben: I suppose so; it seems a bit extreme though…

Lance: [cutting him off] Ok – that’s good enough. So lets see here… my file says you are a college man too… hmm… never went to college myself, learn anything good there?

Ben: Definitely – I went back to school after turning pro – it was a great experience.

Lance: Well – doesn’t hurt to have a few college kids around, I mean Taylor was okay for a while till all that Tugboat/I Believe crap. Let me ask you this… Do you have a Twitter account?

Ben: I do, don’t use it much though.

Lance: I’m thinking I might require all Team Radio Shack Riders to post five times a day. Think you can handle that? We’d all get together after rides and races and do our updates… its great publicity and team bonding. Think you can handle that?

Ben: I don’t see that being an issue – don’t you run out of things to post?

Lance: Nah – just put up stuff like – “Listening to Mandy Moore – Awesome” or “Time to call my good friend Mary Kate O.” makes people think you’re just like them. Anyway…was that your brother on the phone? I’d like to talk to him if I could.

Ben: No that was Paul Mach – another rider on my team.

Lance: He your roommate?

Ben: Yeah – so is Andy – we are three to a room here.

Lance: How does that work?

Ben: [slight pause - embarrassment creeping into his voice] Well – I share a bed with Andy and Paul gets his own.

Lance: No shit, you share a bed? Aren’t you one of the team leaders?

Ben: Domestic budgets

Lance: Not shit… we got to get you out here – dude – we have beds on the busses and I fly in a jet! Get – It – On!

Ben: Nice!

Lance: Paul Mach – what a great name - he any good?

Ben: Sure is – he’s have a great season – he’s from Seattle and been riding pro since dominating the NorCal/Collegiate scene last few years.

Lance: Put him on…

[Flash back to hotel room. Andy and Paul are both crowded around the phone – soon as paul hears this he snatches the phone away from Ben]

Paul: Hi Lance, this is Paul.

Lance: I’ll get straight to the point. I’m putting the twins on my team. I don’t have much time for American riders – they don’t know how to suffer like the Belgians or Russians but… I like to have some friends around and you have an awesome last name.

[Paul scrunches up his eyebrows in confusion]

Paul: Thanks Lance

Lance: Just think of it… “Mach Speed” or “Mach One” - if you’re any good Nike would kill for this. I’m willing to take a gamble ‘cause I love those twins so much – I’m going to offer you a ride on Team Radio Shack but you have to answer me one question first… You any good?

Paul: [confidence in his voice] I won Mount Hoot Stage Race this year, so yeah… I’m good.

Lance: I have no idea what that is…but I like your attitude. Okay… tell those twins I’m sending over the papers for you three. Buckle in…it’s about to get EURO-PE-AN!

End of Team Radio Shack Recruitment Transcripts: The NorCal Raid

Part II: The NorCal Raid Continues as Team Radio Shack takes aim at BMC

Ed. Note: This post by no means reflects the opinions or NorCalCycling News or its sponsors. All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Originally published in Norcalcyclingnews.com

Cross Check

2009-08-15T14:40:00.000-07:00

REMINDER: USE #CALCUP OR #HELLYER TAG FOR POSTING NORCAL RESULTS

Even though I promote the track i actually like to race cross. I dunno why - the season is short, the races are closer, the weather is sunny and temperate - with a dash of mud, each race series (and race) has a different character ( i love the Surf City Halloween Psycho Cross and Pilarcitos races) - and the Belgian races are great internet TV. Rumor is DJ Snead has started to show up for some local crits which signifies the start of cross season training. NorCal is one of three official “Cyclocross Centers of Excellence” in the United States right next to Portland/Seattle corridor and New England. The NorCal scene is like Switzerland - we are so good we don’t need to join the European Union. Anyways…. August and September are clinic time…here are a few that I’ve seen coming across my desk.

Velo Girls Bike Skills 103 September 26 - LLL always gets a turn out and is beginner friendly. The class is going to be taught by John Funke who is threatening to retire. Funke has been talking retirement for the last year at least… i think everybody just needs to show up with “John 3:16″ signs to show him some love and cure what ails him my miracle if need be. We can’t lose a guy with that kind of passion to the Pro Bowling Tour.

Sterling Sports Group has a camp and a training series going in September. Matt’s pretty intense, and well versed in training details, so this is a good one for the information- hungry-engineering types. He’s even got a webinar scheduled for 8/27… Go Internet Man!

Clark Natwick - The master, the myth, the man who brought it all home to NorCal has a few clinic’s rolling. Clinic dates are 8/29, 9/5 & 9/12. Click here for more details. Clark Natwick Coaching. For those that don’t know Clark was an early US Cross Champ… for some reason i get stoked seeing he’s teaching locals. Its like the gods have descended from mount olympus and started handing out magic spears or something. Any-hooters - YEA CLARK!

The Alto Velo leprechauns usually hold a few early season low key clinics. Right now they are planning their get togethers for September 10 @ Byxbee Park, and September 24 @Arastraderro. 6 PM start time…and that’s loose. Keep an eye on the Webcor/Alto Velo email list serve for details.
During the season there are a couple of options. Las year Roaring Mouse put on some clinics for racers before Pilarcito’s Bay Area Prestige races and Velo Bella does a star studded clinic before the psych cross. Shoot them some emails and let them know you are interested early on.

Livermore Series - Even though its not a clinic Shane Huntoon’s Livermore series is a great way to start racing cross since they get rolling on early September 5th. Cool courses and kids under six race make this a great family event. Nothing says family like cross!

I’m missing all the good stuff going on in the East Bay, Marin,Sacramento and other cool NorCal spots but i don’t think they have put up any announcements yet. I don’t know if it is in NorCal but I’m sure Rodney Cox will be doing a cross race every other day out in Chico - that man is a one man wrecking machine! I want to go there just to see if those races are real or some kind of Facebook joke. Put up anything i’m missing in the comments section…

Pretty In Pink

2009-08-14T14:45:00.000-07:00

I feel like Hernando’s off topic posts were kind of hit and miss. Not a fan of the political ones, mostly cause I can’t stand Naomi Klein - but i have a good long reason for that which you can ask me about next time you see me, but the more poetry type stuff works out some times. Here is a rambling ode the the style of hernando… and I will try to fit in some mentions for tonights’ big party at the track. Tonight at Hellyer Velodrome Hernando, Velo Girls, and La Dolce Vita are putting on the big party that are Friday Night Fights. It’d filled with beer, racing, food and costumes. The costume theme is new this year… not sure how it got started but Hernado usually gets all decked out as do a bunch of spectators and racers. Its like “The Rockey Horror Bike Show” Because of Velo Girls propensity to include pink in all ensembles and the recent passing of John Hughs this week was tagged “Pretty In Pink” where folks should either be:

1. Wearing pink
2. Wearing your best 80’s ensemble.

For me John Hughes movies and cycling are inextricably linked. Greg LeMond and Molly Ringwald both came to prominence at the same time and forever left a dent in my psyche. John Hughes understood the outsider and the feeling you get as a teenager that you can never quite belong.

Cycling in the 80’s had the same feel as the up and coming outsider sport. Lance was still a baby triathlete then and the prickly LeMond never quite connected with the US audience the way Lance would. Like Hughes cast in “The Breakfast Club” cyclists were a weird mix of athletes, nerds, and freds who would come together once a week for a club time trial on some deserted country road. In cycling we found, and continue to find a community of people we can relate to despite all of our social shortcomings..which cyclists seem to have in abundance. I’m sure some of your are normal but you still hammer yourself several months a year, and feel guilty if you don’t, for your job thats not really a job. My point being something ain’t right freak!

We may not always like each other but we have a common language, understanding, and respect for what each accomplishes in our clique. Events like the AVC, Friday Night Fights, Bay Area Prestige CX races, San Francisco Twilight, and San Rafael Twilight Crit bring us together to race, talk bikes, family and everything else in order connect in the most normal environment cyclists can manage.

If you are reading this you are in this crowd no matter what. Come out to party and race with us tonight.. and wear some pink leg warmers if you got em.

Originally published in NorCalcyclingnews.com with photos and links!

Primal Wear Inspiration

2009-08-11T14:49:00.000-07:00

I was driving my way down Foothill today and I saw two guys in Primal Wear jerseys standing by the side of the road. I figured it was a flat but when i got closer one guy was looking awkwardly in the distance while his skinnier partner puked his guts out on the side of the road. Hell Yeah Bike Dorks - That is one hard a#$ mother-F^@#!%! I bet he got back on his bike and rode home to his big house in Los Altos Hills right after! If those dudes can get it together for a vomit inducing Tuesday morning ride I can at least try to post once a day till i’m out on vacation next week!

Track is top of mind since its Tuesday and all… Plus this Friday is a big track party so you all need some warming up.

TONITE 8/11 - WOMEN’S RACES + MEN’S MADISON TRAINING. If you want to give people a test to ride crits better make them pass a Madison test administered by none other than Hernando. This will solve all those Cat 3 crash issues you folks were emailing about last week…for real folks…a madison test! Dumbldore kinda genius right?

TOMORROW 8/12 Points Race, Scratch, Miss & Out, Points Race - Your “tired”, your “over trained”, your thinking next year is the time you will really dial it up and train 20 hours a week. It has been a long season and you are feeling like the best part of your summer, and your race season has passed you by. You know what… it is time for you to have some fun down at the track. I like Wednesday races because they are quick, short, and i can hang out with my friends on the tarmac. Its just the thing you need to get your passion back.

FRDAY 8/14 FRIDAY NITE FIGHTS - I dunno what Michael calls these races, I keep calling them Friday Nite Fights cause i like the similarly named show, but this is the monthly party night at the track. DJ, Drinks, Food and Lot’s-O-Track Racing are coming to Hellyer Velodrome this Friday night. Its not quite the “Matrix Style” Rave that will happen on September 18th but La Dolce Velo and VeloGirls put on a killer party as we saw from last years event. I’m not saying they can’t make it happen (cause if LLL puts the call out to her hoard of VG’s there is no telling what might shake out) …i’m just thinking all the road nerds (yeah i’m talking about you non-track-riding-skinny-folks beating each other up over the #CalCup) won’t be willing to get nutty till their “season” is over in September. Prove me wrong and shake the dust off your skin suits folks and give Hellyer some love.

9/12 - International Style Omnium Come get spanked by Beth - looks like she’s going fo sho!

9/18 - FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS BLOW OUT EVENT- Even though there are more races this is usually the last big PAR-TAY. No excuses…come get nuts, and race if you must. San Jose Bike Club will batten down the hatches for the storm that inevitably comes.

Time for A Reshuffle

2008-10-10T12:32:00.000-07:00

Like many of us hardcore cycling fans i met the news of Lance's return with a big yawn and skepticism. No matter how i look at it though i know it will increase American interest, and hence TV coverage of my favorite sport so it will only benefit me. If he win's its kind of cool, if he loses i get a good dose of schadenfreude. Regardless.... all the expected things happened, half fans got all excited, Leblanc got all huffy, and Dick Pound said something asinine.

Some interesting things happened below the surface which provide a glimmer of hope to some events that could change cycling...

Armstrong bought into SRAM, who are sponsoring ASTANA. The profit he would bring to another kick at the can is obvious
Rumors started circulating that Armstrong might buy the ASO with a bunch of old UCI cronies
The Giro officially invited Armstrong and team to come ride the Giro, a big change from their 2007 greeting by the major tours.

Now - if i was Lance (and cronies) here is what i would do - think of this as a three part plan to save cycling in this time of economic uncertainty

1. Screw the ASO and TDF, turn your back on them and all they stand for - leave that to Contador

2. Go race the Giro - there are a tone of reasons to do this

Before Lemond/Indurain/Armstrong the Giro was on par in prestige with Le Tour. that only faded when they failed to capitalize on American interest through TV coverage etc.
The Giro's testing policy is way more lax - less positives, less negative press. Let's not pretend cycling was better before testing started. I want it clean but how the hell is that going to happen when Premiere League Soccer, NFL, NBA, and MLB are so ridiculous with drugs that its pointless to try and keep it squeaky
Italians love Armstrong - mostly cause he's brash and emotional i suppose

3. Buy a piece of the Giro and build the brand.

First get all the good teams in there. The race has the drama and a great location but needs some business sense. Get rid of those goofy second rate italian teams like Merco-Italia-Sella-Bucco. The Giro's former luster was almost restored when the UCI demanded that all the Pro-Tour must attend all three grand tours. Prior to that it was lapsing into second rate regional race only won by doped up italians who couldn't win a real tour if it hit them in the face.
Replace Le Tour with Giro d'Italia. Lance gets the value of the brand. His focus on Le Tour was a great choice, cause it was the only race most Americans new or cared about. Then look at how he's managed Livestrong and personal brand into positions of companies that he can effect with his race results. That said the Armstrong brand is so high he can make it a game changer. Where he goes crowds follow. Who is going to care about Le Tour if the only American is going to get 5th! We want to watch a winner... and there is no better place to do it than Italy.

In closing... screw the ASO. If I never have to hear about that silly mom and pop family company again it will be a day too soon. Go buy and build you own race lance...we'll come and watch.

Lance Armstrong @ Cross Vegas

2008-09-28T15:46:00.000-07:00

Training with Family

2008-07-26T15:09:00.000-07:00

Originally published in Cyclocross Magazine circa 2008

I know your story. You used to race or just started… you have a $600,000 mortgage, you spend too much time at work, you just had a baby, and your spouse never signed on for all this cycling stuff when you got married three years ago. Don’t worry though cause I got all the answers right here. These are well worn methods to help you keep it all balanced and try to squeak out a top ten placing in your favorite cross series.

1. Get the Family On Board: Without the support of your spouse, children, and family pets you are not going to get very far. The best thing you can do is make sure your spouse knows how important this sport is. The best description I’ve heard about cycling came from a friend. “It’s not a hobby, its not a job, it’s a vocation.” Start there and work your way down to begging. Half the following tips relate to easing the burden on family life.

2. Consistency is King: The hardest part for juggling family, career and cycling is consistent training. Give up on the dream of getting in those 12 hour training weeks. I know there are super organized A types out there who can manage that but that’s a select few and hard to maintain for a long time so don’t feel that’s the solution. Realistically you likely only have 4 hours during the week and maybe 3 hours on the weekend to train. Be consistent about getting out every day even if it means you take a haircut some days and only get an hour in. Over time you’ll get the routine down and the hours will add up. Most importantly don’t feel bad about only riding a few hours a week – Stuart Smiley put it best “As we say in program: progress, not perfection.”

3. Train with a Power Meter: I originally got a PowerTap purely out of peer pressure. Everybody I knew was using one so I splurged and got me a wireless yeller handlebar unit. I had a vague notion of how it could help me manage my time better but it didn’t pan out quite like I expected. One of the challenges of the family bound cyclist is that no matter what you can’t race as much. The PowerTap helped me track my progress without racing every weekend. It also provided a great way to measure progress year over year once you combine it with the available software like TrainingPeaks.

4. The Long Ride: I spent all this time telling you to do more with less. Here is the flip side. If you can get in one long endurance ride (consistently remember!) during the week or weekend it will help maintain your engine during the short intense work outs, training races, or what ever you might be doing to prepare for your races. I found that on weekends my training rides were allotted to about two hours per day. My work schedule was flexible enough where I could take 8:30 to 12 go on a long hilly group ride every Wednesday. I had to stay later on those days but it helped me maintain sanity both at work and through out the rest of the week if I couldn’t get out for a ride.

5. Minimize Travel: Every couple has a different temperature gauge on what is acceptable so I can only speak from experience on this one. If a race is more than an hour away I don’t go because it puts me too deep in the hole with my spouse. I suggest that if you are racing with family stay as close to home as possible so you can fully enjoy the experience at the race and not feel too rushed.

6. Tight Race Day Time Management: Get your race day routine dialed in. Equipment, nutrition, warm up, parking, and exit should all be set up and ready to execute the night before your race. Hang out with the family before you leave, I suggest a nice breakfast, and make sure you don’t loiter and miss the ETA set by you and your significant other. Spouse management is half the battle and will help if and when you ask for more training time!

7. The Race Day Swap: It is entirely possible to coordinate with another parent to take your children to an event and do a swap so that you each get a race in. This creates some good will at home and gets the little ones involved but it also requires a lot of planning. Bring snacks, bring toys, and bring a portable DVD player of video iPod. The hardest part of the plan is getting in a good warm up. The crucial factor is to make sure your races are not back to back so that you get in some time on the bike before your race.

8. Bring the Family Circus: Bringing the whole family is doable for 1 or 2 races so use it wisely. I get the family out for the two big ones one of which is in Golden Gate park and we got out after and see some of the sights in San Francisco. The other race I take the family too is a blow out party with a tent, snacks, drinks and all the trimmings. What ever you take them too it should either be a great location (hence Golden Gate Park) or a great party that they will have lots of fun at. Taking your family to a field with no people and a bunch of racers will earn you no respect when they try to picture what you do every weekend.

9. Race in a Block: Just like the pro’s train in blocks you should race in set periods of time. Cross season (October- Early December) is great because it lasts about 10 weeks and most races are part of a series that lasts 3-6 races. This works out great for the family racer since a 5-6 race series is enough racing to keep you motivated and more than enough for your body to handle. I find after six cross races, and the usual stress of juggling training, work and famil I’m ready for a break and I hang up my racing bike until next season. The shorter focused race season provides the intensity I am looking for and makes my significant other feel like my life doesn’t revolve around cycling (even though it does a little bit.)

10. Don’t Judge A Race by Your Result: Discouragement about results is the family racers worst enemy. Too many times I have had to beat the “why do I bother” thought out of my psyche after finishing 22nd instead of 10th. Getting bummed out because you aren’t finishing where you want too is inevitable unless you are winning every weekend. I’ve met only a few nearly pro’s who have been able to juggle family and racing and perform to their potential. Consequently they have often prioritized family and cycling before career and make their lives work well. If that’s not you then look for incremental gains after each event with an eye on the big picture. Cycling, especially cyclocross is about the war not the battle. It can take years to dial in training, fitness, and technique so being consistent from race to race and year over year will help you get to where you want to be in results. Patience is a key factor if results are important to you but they will come

Bonus Tip: Getting family involved in racing is the family racers dream but let them (kids and spouse) come to you. I pushed my girlfiend, who is now my wife, and is a very strong cyclist to try a race. My wife is very competitive and overcooked a corner her first lap, I figured she’d be happy finishing not competing, and broke her arm. Since then getting her to try a race has been impossible. The moral of the story is… let them come to you after they see how much fun it is.

Training with a family requires creativity and stronger desire to participate than perform. If you have the desire and belief that showing up is half the battle then you can race into your golden years with the support of the folks you love the most. Unless you have some seriously good genes these tips are not going to win you any championships but it should get you close enough to the front of the race that when you come home and tell your family you got a top 15 they don’t spit in your face.

TDF '07 - Place Your Bets

2007-07-06T15:14:00.000-07:00

Even thought it is hard to get excited i still like gambling on the TDF. My bets and odds below...

My money is going to...

Valverde ($15) - Cause he's definitely doping
Rasmussen ($10) Long shot but possible, its not like he races in anything else
Cadel Evans ($10) I momentarily bought into the hype, but now i think i just wasted $10.
Levi ($10) its now or never and he looks hungry every time he's in a TT.

Odds from Sportsbook.com

Alexandre Vinokourov 7-4
Andreas Kloden 4-1
Andrey Kashechkin 12-1
Cadel Evans 10-1
Carlos Sastre 10-1
Christophe Moreau 40-1
Cyril Dessel 40-1
Damiano Cunego 40-1
Danilo Di Luca 20-1
Denis Menchov 12-1
Frank Schleck 12-1
George Hincapie 40-1
Iban Mayo 40-1
John Gadret 40-1
Levi Leipheimer 10-1
Markus Fothen 40-1
Michael Rasmussen 40-1
Michael Rogers 20-1
Oscar Pereiro 20-1
Samuel Sanchez 40-1
Tom Danielson 20-1
Vladimir Karpets 40-1
Yaroslav Popovych 40-1

Sigh... i wish i could bet on American D3 Racing.. that would make it wayyyyy more fun.

Put Your Shirt On

2007-06-19T16:19:00.000-07:00

Not So-Pro!

The Rock Says....

2007-06-13T23:03:00.000-07:00

I was a cynic, I was a skeptic, basically...i became an unbeliever. My soul was crushed last July when Floyd got busted, I lost interest, stopped blogging....but just when you think cycling is going totally down hill something comes along. The new cool thing? Rock Racing! These guys are bringing some danger back to the sport!

The cool factors
1. The change their jerseys every race (supposedly)
-Every time i see them they have something different on, that is cool, not even Euro's do that.

2. Escalades - While i don't dig SUV's and their gas guzzling ways, a bunch of guys rolling up in pimped out mobster rides is pretty cool.

3. They can race!

1st CSC Invitational
Spring 07 Results
Kayle Leogrande - check out the ink! This guy is a crit machine...
Rahsaan Bahati - No longer a flash in the pan! (he's the 1st at CSC)

Let's just hope they are the cool guys in black and don't sport too much attitude when we see them out on group rides.

Basso states "I smoked pot but didn't inhale"

2007-05-08T10:20:00.000-07:00

"I smoked pot but didn't inhale"b y Captain Dan

So let me get this straight. Basso wins Giro by 9 minutes, over Gutierrez (who has never done this well in a 3 week stage race and is subsequently implicated in OP). Then is implicated in Operation Puerto and can't start '06 Tour. He denies any association with Dr. Fuentes. He and CSC part ways (significant buy out clause paid by CSC), then signs multi million $ contract with Discovery and Nike.

Evidence exists that his code name is Brillo (his dogs name that he denies is true) including blood and payment records going back to 2004. He quits Discovery and yesterday confesses his involvement. Then today says it was only "just in case" and for the tour he didn't get to compete.

This is F&$king hilarious. What a putz. How can he cheat, lie, take a ton of money, spit on our sport, and then expect anyone to believe this pile of shit!

http://www.velonews.com/news/fea/12220.0.html

Captain Dan Dan

Operation Don't Crash Out Lance

2007-01-31T01:21:00.000-08:00

Ol' Webcor Pro Greg Drake wrote up this story.... Its a great first person account of a Neo Pro's first big race.

So I was racing in the 2002 SF Grand Prix, with Lance or course. I was completely intimidated by everything around me. I had been a Cat 2 for a couple months, a Cat 3 for a couple months before that, a Cat 4 for a month before that, and a Cat 5...well you get the picture. I hadn't been racing road bikes very long.

Anyway, I spent the whole night before the race waking up every hour or so with nerves raging. The little sleep I got was punctuated with dreams of crashing out Lance.

In the morning I tossed aside all my delusions of soloing in for the
win and decided that my one overarching goal (besides clipping in
properly at the start) was that I did not want to be That Guy Who
Crashed Out Lance.

Since Webcor was a major sponsor of the race our team was called up
to the start line, along with Postal. Operation Don't Crash Out
Lance was going to have to start a bit earlier than anticipated but
so be it. I managed to stage at least ten feet away from Lance at
this point so I was feeling some early success. After the gun went
off I clumsily clipped into my pedals and we were off.

I was pretty much hanging on for dear life after the gun went off so
I wasn't necessarily oozing with cogent reasoning. I quickly
reverted to a non-Lance subgoal which was to NOT be The First Guy
Dropped.

Luckily there were an unlucky Schroder Iron guy who dropped a chain
up Fillmore the first time up so I checked that one off my list.

But just as I was basking in the shadenfreude at the top of Fillmore
and reverting to my overarching race goal, I unwittingly became The
Jerk Who Let A Gap Form. Fortunately a guy from Cippolini's team who
was barking some really cool sounding Italian phrases gave me a
really hard push on the rump that literally flung me up the road. I
almost closed the gap - well not really. But at least I kept
pedealing. Another Italian with yet more incoherent, yet undoubtedly
profane Italian phrases came around me and mopped up my mess.

Now fast foward to lap two or three and we're on the flats out by
the Marina. I guess a break went up the road as things apparently
mellowed out with guys easing up a bit, grabbing drinks and
chatting. I say apparently because I was still hovering at lactate
threshold and I just couldn't relax, tailgunning it in the back of
the pack with a death-grip on the handlebars.

All of a sudden I see Lance kind of drifting back a bit throught the
pack to my right. And then I again remembered overarching goal
numero uno. In my foggy state I decided that the safest place for me
would be right behind him. I couldn't take him out and figured
others would feel the same way, maybe creating this small protective
oasis where nothing bad could happen. I just had to make sure I
braked early and often and everything would be just fine.

I then noticed several other Postal teammates drift back so I just
dangled several feet behind Lance as we rounded the north end of the
course and meandered back toward the climbs.

I must have been concentrating too hard or maybe just not paying any
attention all, because suddenly the Postal boys and I were slightly
off the back. I didn't panic because after all, I was following
Lance. What could possibly go wrong?

I found out as I'm staring at the ground and and see water droplets
near my front wheel. I looked up and yeah, I was the Rookie That Got
Peed On By Lance.

And this time, I closed the gap to the pack all by myself.

-Greg Drake

New D3 Teams in 2007

2007-01-01T00:10:00.000-08:00

I love figuring out the new Teams. This year there is only one weird wild card... but here is my take on all the new guys on the block.

BMC Racing - I like these guys, Jackson Stewart, Sayers, Moniger, Schmatz and Alexander Moos. These guys should be one of the new powerhouses out there.

Kelly Benefits - McCook, Perras, Spinelli, and Bouchard-Hall who dropped off the radar for a while. This Baltimore team is going to a whole new level. They shoudl rock the crit scene with McCook and some strong leadout guys.

Rock Racing - These guys are fascinating. No roster, no website, just a link and a contact name. The contact is a coach from LA with a business called RadSport. Both the names on the website are involved with a project called Las Vegas City of Sports, an ambitous sports related casino complex in Nevada. The primary source, Haldane Morris, is an ex racer and was apparently funding some of Rashan Bahti's comeback. While researching this some one Pro dropped his salary info in a post... $14k, if you don't want to go looking for it. Anyway... more on this group as it comes available.

Team Slipstream - They are not new, but they are going big time. Now that we know they are funded by a rich dude from NYC, who is not Mengoni, perhaps they will have enough dough to pick up Landis. Either way thise guys look good on paper... Pate, Eusar, Lewis, McCarty, and a few euro pro's for good measure.

Uhhh...I got a game for you

2006-12-23T19:13:00.000-08:00

I don't know if they ran the right tests. Pick Tammy Thomas, 2001 US Track medalist, recently in the headlines from this line up.

The Real Meanning of Cross Mas!

2006-12-21T22:44:00.000-08:00

Cross Mas has come of an gone.. but the spirit lives on. I don't have cable, so when my wife is watching a crappy movie i can't stand its time for CROSS VIDEOS! Here are some selections friends have helped me discover

2006 US Nationals - Select Shorts from NorCal Cross Guru John Funke
2006 World Cup Highlights - Free from Cycling TV! Click Highlights
Old World Championships - free highlights from 1996-2000
You Tube - I just browse some times
And of course... the weird

Richard Goes to Nationals

The big Belgian Christmas Cross Week starts on 12/23 and ends on 12/31.

dec.23: Wachtebeke - Bel
dec.26: World Cup #9 - Hofstade - Bel
dec.27: Sylvester Cyclo-cross Torhout - Bel
dec.28: Azencross Loenhout - Bel
dec.29: Cyclo-cross Middelkerke - Bel
dec.31: Superprestige #6 - Diegem - Bel

(Full Calendar) There is a race every day for the next week! I am currently trolling for some streaming Belgian TV stations since i don't think any of the normal sources have the coverage. Try Beeline TV which lists a lot of free streams or one of the Belgian TV station websites...sometimes i get lucky with highlights and stuff.

The Discovery Gambit

2006-12-12T17:37:00.000-08:00

I am impressed with Discovery Channel. They have focus, and they have smarts. Sure...as cycling fans we all look at the Basso signing and say WTF, but we miss the point. The fallout is coming... but who cares if they get banned by the ProTour Team Federation, Tour of Denmark, and Tour of Germany. Discovery wants one thing... Win the Tour de France by all means necessary. All other races are irrelevant, especially to Americans! Its not like they will get banned from the Tour De Georgia/Utah/California etc, etc, etc. Sure... Basso is deffinately a doper, but do Americans care? Not a bit... even after Armstrong, Floyd, and Hamilton. Its not like the doping rules in other US sports like NFL, MLB, NBA are enforced, so who cares as long as Discovery wins. Everybody loves a winner... look at Lance!

The Best Podium Shot Ever

2006-12-04T10:50:00.000-08:00

Cross Mas 2006 & Other Anouncements

2006-11-30T21:49:00.000-08:00

Cross Mas Party

Do not forget that this Sunday is my Cross Mas party! What is Cross Mas? It’s my annual holiday party, but I have mine at a cyclocross race… its like Belgian tailgating, a bike race instead of football. Cyclo-cross is a little nutty and was recently featured in the NY Times: Cyclocross Article. It is good viewing in sunny or inclement weather.

Details below...

Host: Ted Burns

Location: Coyote Point
Coyote Point Drive, San Mateo, CA View Map

When: Sunday, December 3, 11:00am

Phone: 650 464 3753

First Annual Cross-Mas Party!

I'm celebrating the close of the cyclocross season and the start of the holiday season.

Racing starts at 8 AM, and my race is at 9:20 but I recommend coming by at 11 AM to have a beer and watch the Pro's at 12 PM and my friends in the B group at 2 PM.

Tent and a few chairs will be available but bring all weather gear if you want to stomp around the course to watch the race.

Snacks and beer will also be available at my tent (which i should have according to my master plan.)

Location of the tent will be direction on the course if I can swing it so we can hoot and holler at the poor guys racing.

Finding my Tent (or car with a cooler)
- Call once you get there 650 464 3753
- Look for a green flag with a white cross (like the one in invite below)
- Walk around and shout my name (TED? TEEED?)

Bring a cow bell if you have one....i have a few to give out.

Directions

When coming to Coyote Point from the north (San Francisco), use Highway 101 South. Take the Poplar Avenue exit. Turn right onto Humbolt until Peninsula Avenue. Turn right onto Peninsula Avenue. Go over the freeway, and then circle around and into the Park.

When coming to Coyote Point from the south (San Jose), use Highway 101 North. Take the Dore Avenue exit. Immediately turn left onto North Bayshore Boulevard. Turn right onto Coyote Point Drive to the park.

Map to the vicinity of the course

Announcement # 001
New Years Resolution #1 for 2007
I will try to post at least once a month in the new year!

Finally! Coming Clean

2006-09-12T10:28:00.000-07:00

After the Floyd TDF debacle i kept thinking "Somebody just needs to come clean and spill the beans!" well in a post United sacking period of self reflection Frankie Andreu has done just that.

Andreau Statement

The more interesting bit is that the New York Times is covering it and has corroboration from another former US Postal Teammate from 1999. I am glad that they papers are starting to take a real run at the situation

New York Times Article

Check out the roster from '99 and see who you think it is...

ARMSTRONG Lance - No way it is him, too much on the line
ANDREU Frankie - Came clean
DERAME Pascal - Doubt it HAMILTON Tyler - He's denied this far, he faces lifetime ban if he admits now.
HINCAPIE George - Still racing, and doing well. No way he'd admit it after USPRO champs.
LIVINGSTON Kevin - Had a tough going over after he left US Postal, but still has some cycling ties.
MEINERT-NIELSEN Peter - Doubt it
VANDEVELDE Christian - Still racing, and just starting to win.
VAUGHTERS Jonathan - Admission would jeopardize the entire TIAA-CREF program but he does want to make the sport clean.

The news about Floyd testing positive after the tour really tarnished the 80$ I won on him at 7/1 odds. Despite the circumstances of how the information was released the Floyd incident really put me off Pro cycling for a while hence my lack of posting or even reading about races, I mean they are all doping at this point...doesn't it seem like it? That said, WADA and Dick Pound are worth a whole other post, I'm reading his book now so I will share the dirt when i am done.

Odd's on Basso - Time to Ante Up

2006-06-19T17:11:00.000-07:00

Get your money down @ http://www.sportsbook.com!

There are some good deals here... Jan at 12-5, Floyd at 8-1, Cadel at 20-1. However, since i and the bookies don't really think any of them have a chance i put my money on Basso which is pretty crappy at 11-10! Anyway...i have $20 on basso and $9 on floyd. All money is made from Lance at previous tours.

Alejandro Valverde 7-1
Alexander Vinokourov 8-1
Andreas Kloeden 40-1
Andrey Kashechkin 80-1
Bobby Julich 100-1
Cadel Evans 20-1
Carlos Sastre 100-1
Christoph Moreau 100-1
Damiano Cunego 25-1
Denis Menchov 30-1
Eddy Mazzoleni 100-1
Floyd Landis 8-1
Francisco Mancebo 50-1
Georg Totschnig 100-1
George Hincapie 30-1
Haimar Zubeldia 80-1
Iban Mayo 80-1
Ivan Basso 11-10
Jan Ullrich 12-5
Joseba Beloki 60-1
Levi Leipheimer 45-1
Michael Rasmussen 40-1
Oscar Pereiro 50-1
Paolo Savoldelli 40-1
Santiago Botero 100-1 V
ladimir Karpets 60-1
Yaroslav Popovych 18-1

End Bad Cycling Handshakes

2006-06-01T12:03:00.000-07:00

WRONG

We have all fallen victim to trying to shake somebody's hand while riding. After a race, or on a group ride, what ever. I am here to ask you to stop. It just doesn't work. Next time you need to great or congratulate somebody do the fist bump. If we all work together we can end the sad little papal ring kissing attempts that give all cyclists a bad name.

RIGHT

Simoni

2006-05-30T22:54:00.000-07:00

I know this has nothing to do with american's except for my last quote. I just love Simoni's whining though, he is such a satisfying guy to hate. This was almost too easy. He talks a lot of garbage... Also check out the Simoni Cars web site, its not related but wouldn't it be great if it was?

"I went to the dentist that day and he gave me an injection but I did not ask him what products were in it. When I left him I went to see my aunt and on returning to my hotel I was confronted by two people from the World Anti-Doping Agency." [on testing positive for cocaine in 2002]

"Armstrong definitely doesn't frighten me on the climbs, and he knows it." VN 2003

On the 2003 Tour De France "I feel really bad, I just want to go home,I came here hoping to win the race but my morale is in my boots. I've never liked the Tour anyway. I want to go home. I'll be carrying on, and we'll see what happens. But it's really difficult when it's like this."

"I didn't enjoy the Tour; there's little space to express yourself as a rider with so much domination by Armstrong. The Giro is totally different."

"I don't want to have any further contact with (Ballerini)...I focused on racing at the Worlds for nine months. If (Ballerini) wasn't interested in me, there must have been something else behind it. Now to add insult to injury, (because of public comments about Ballerini) I have a problem with the (Italian Cycling) federation. But no matter what, I'll never wear the (Italian) national jersey again. I don't want to change my nationality but it's not really my choice. I have to do this if I want to race in the World Championships again."

"You're a bastard...you are really stupid." To Cunego at 2004 Giro

Following Cunego's Saturday-morning press conference, Saeco riders and staff dressed in pink to pose for a picture - except Simoni, who refused to join the love fest. VN

"I was upset that Damiano wanted to win in such a dominant fashion this Giro, I didn't think that was necessary when Damiano accelerated in front of me in Friday's stage. It did annoy me, but that's all finished now."

"What happened that day at Bormio has never happened to me before, when Cunego wanted to win the stage. There was an agreement that day. In my career, I've let other riders win and I've won myself, but I've never gone back on my word. And before Bormio, no one ever did it to me."

"If Armstrong rode both the Giro d'Italia and then the Tour de France, we'd see how good he really is, for better or worse, He has said he wants to ride the Giro at least once during his career, and this could be the right moment to do it. Next year the Giro finishes at the end of May, and the hardest stages of the Tour de France are in late July, so he'd have enough time to recover."

"I don't want to think about the Tour. I've been racing for 20 days, and all I want to do is go home and see my family. After that I'll come up with some plan to conquer the world."

"I have to go into this Giro like a crazy man. We'll see if I'm crazy enough to win it."

"Cunego is now a captain on his own and he can't hide behind me anymore,"

"Basso asked me to wait for him on the descent. If I had known he was going to do that, I would have used a different tactic. Obviously, there are no gentlemen in this game,"

"I've never seen anyone dominate like that, never seen any one that strong! He seems like an extra-terrestrial,"

"Five kilometres from the finish of the stage Basso asked me for money in exchange for him letting me win, I've never asked for charity or for the stage win and when Basso asked for money it really hurt me. I've never done anything like that during my career."

"Basso deserves his Giro win but he doesn't exist for me any more,"

Armstrong on Simoni
"For sure he was impressive in the Giro and since then he's been talking a lot, but talk is cheap as they say."

Paris Roubaix - I am a little disgusted today

2006-04-09T14:59:00.000-07:00

First of all it was won by a time trial specialist. (Check the Sweet video) That's just wrong.

Second his name is Fabian. Call me old school but Tom or George seems like a more appropriate name for a Paris Roubaix winner. Fabian Cancellara should be at the Circuit de la Sarthe or something.

Third, what the hell is up with this train thing. And all those guys that got DQ'd for crossing before it came?

Fourth, I know it is not his fault but I am annoyed with Hincappie for getting smoked. I bet the component guys are all freaking out cause his forks broke.

Fifth, Saul Raisin better get well and back on the bike. Its starting to look like he is the only hope for American cycling.

Sea Otter - I don't get it

2006-04-09T14:35:00.000-07:00

I don't really get the Sea Otter Cycling Classic.

It's a festival, its a race... it's a trade show, it's a charity ride. It's a mountain bike race, its a road race, it's kind of confusing. What the hell is it? In addition to all that they run all the races on a race track. I guess it might be fun to camp out for the weekend.

The primary emphasis seems to be on the trade show/market place component. Check out the map of the area. Regardless, the Aussie contingent, which seems to get bigger every year, dominated the finish with a 1-2-3 showing.

The cork screw looks pretty fun. It's the only turn the race track won't provide footage of.

The Bisceglia Affair

2006-04-05T11:04:00.000-07:00

So the USA Cycling CEO got fired which judging from reactions is a sudden and not terribly popular move. Why is this interesting? Because it looks like it is a conspiracy to keep Lance Armstrong and company out of the line of fire.

A guy on my team sent a great article about how USA Cycling is controlled by Tom Weisel (pictured on the right), Lance Armstrong, and their cronies. It is pretty well put together. I am going to have to get Weisels bio. I think the french would love to add this layer of complexity to the Armstrong/L'Equipe story. It would be great if there was a master plan and villain in this story.

G-DUB this Wednesday

2006-04-03T17:35:00.000-07:00

(The Kemmelberg)

I am rechristening The Gent Wevelgem G-DUB. Since it is the closest thing to a Spring Classic us American's can win, it should have a good American monicker. So... from now on, it will be known as G-Dub (or GW). A few more Americans are entered or listed as reserves.
1. George - He's won this one before, looking good right now, boonen will probably take it easy.
2. Aaron Olson - didn't finish the Ronde, welcome to the big leagues
3. Fast Freddy - will probably get bumped by a Belgian
4. Guido Trenti - The Italian America, he'll finish and bust his but for somebody good, like say Boonen or Bettini
5. Bernhard Van Ulden - is listed as an alternate for Navigators, way cool! I hope he rides.
6. Canadians - Walters is pretty old, Barry got smoked on Sunday, Dionne didn't finish Sunday

KBC Driedaagse De Panne - Koksijde is the club that puts the race on. Check out the Organization link (my flemish is getting good) thoe dudes in the brown jackets are the guys that run cycling in Belgium, i love it.

No Surprises - Belgian, Belgian, Hincapie

2006-04-02T16:28:00.000-07:00

Video of the Finish: Click text next to video, it is pretty choppy.
1. Tom Boonen (B), Quick Step 6:24:26 (40.414kph)
2. Leif Hoste (B), Discovery
3. George Hincapie (USA), Discovery, at 1:17

Interesting thing is Hincapie sounds pissed, I bet Hoste screwed him to get second.
"My legs were great today," Hincapie said after the finish. "Probably better than ever. And I wasn't really able to show that."

De Ronde, De Ronde - US Will Suck Out in Another Classic

2006-04-01T22:15:00.000-08:00

De Ronde is tomorrow, so I am assuming Boonen or some other iron dutch boy will win. How is it that the US can produce half of the top 10 in the the Tour but can't get one freaking "Classics" win. The closest we have ever come is Hincapies 2nd in the Paris-Roubaix last year but that was an out of contention second. It kind of feels like we are becoming the new Spanish with no guys that can ride the cobbles. Bascially I only think there are a handful of real classics.
1. Milan San Remo - But who cares about La Primavera other than the Italians
2. Tour of Flanders - The Ronde, a cooler, but if you aren't Flemish who gives a shit
3. Paris Roubaix - The Hell of the North, this is the one i think american's should shoot for.
4. Liege-Bastogne-Liege - Tyler won this, does that still count though?
5. Tour of Lombardy - Another Italian special, Tour of the falling leaves has a nice ring to it though.

What are American chances like tomorrow? Let's see...not good since only two american's are on the start list. I'll include the canadians to make it a real list. I think there are more aussies than russians this year!
1. Aaron Olson - I'm liking him because he took over for Horner and is pals with Dionne. Still up and coming though.
2. George Hincapie - Probably The best US hope but no way.
2.5 Fast Freddy - I don't see him on the official start list. I m sure he was bumped for a belgian dude.
3. The Canadians - Dionne (no way), Barry (no way), Hesjdal (isn't he a mtn biker?)

So... US/Canadian chances? Slim to none. I guess all the US guys are getting ready for Sea Otter.

The Horn Squad Returns - Amgen Tour of California

2006-04-01T20:14:00.000-08:00

I have been on hiatus for way to long. I blame the job not the baby, who by the way got her picture taken at the SF GP with Katheryn Curry the women's national champion, of course I can't find the pic anymore which is killing me! I will post here when i find it again.

The horn squad turned out in force for the Amgen Tour of California. It was 10 minutes from work so a couple of us went over with our cowbells to raise a ruckus. It was a beautiful February day and we freaked out a couple of the riders. We got these totally funny looks as if... "What the hell is going on". It was seriously the middle of nowhere east bay nor cal (union city to be exact) and there are like a couple hundred people with cowbells standing around in the middle of a work day for almost the whole route.

The Amgen tour is deffinately worth checking out. My only complaint is that the live feed web feed was down the first two days. The Grassy Knoll project, fan community generated video and pics, is pretty sweet idea...a totally good community application.

The Horn Squad

2005-08-19T23:32:00.000-07:00

It is almost time for the SF Grand Prix and I am signing up members for The Horn Squad. Buy your shirt and meet me in the city...its a fun day.

I like Chris Horner...but you have to admit, he's kind of a dick. That said he's the most interesting American at the tour this year given he's smart racer, fit, and willing to kill for some Euro results.

At the end of the day he always tells it like it is. Sadly it comes off sounding a little like he's a total asshole. Examples below...

Tour de Suise Vincenzo Nibali wouldn't work
2005 US Pro Pate wouldn't work
2004 Olympic Trials MCartney wasn't the best guy

I'm totally psyched he made it to the tour with his win in Switzerland. He's been the blue collar star of US cycling for the last several years. His stint, and dominance on Webcor last year wast cool. He's always willing to lay it down for teammate as seen at last years SFGP for Charles Dionne and the US Pro championship for Mark McCormack in 2003.

His ride at the tour into Montpellier had me on the edge of my seat. And the best party is he was fined swiss france for throwing a water bottle at a guy that wasn't working in his break and then tried to take off. Show those frogs how its done Chris! God i bet it felt good to nail that guy.

I envision him being this blue collar guy wholives in Bend, OR to save money and has a million kids. Thats so cool...i think the only problem is he's not smart outside of cycling. I think he could be the first good American Director Sportif when his career winds down. Next year will be interesting with him riding at Davimaton Lotto with Freddy and McKewan.

Regardless I am forming a fan club called the Horn Squad. The point being you honk when he wins anything. It would be like when the Portuguese or Mexicans beat anybody in soccer...you drive around in your car with flag on the window honking. Join me...i'm getting an air horn.

Le Tour Preparation - American Style

2005-06-23T20:44:00.000-07:00

It's the only time of year that leaves a hole in my heart when it is over. The tour has replaced Christmas as my favorite holiday. Every fan has his own way of getting ready...

1. Place your bets
that's right...get them in while its hot. The odds suck...10-11 for lance to win but hey, its easy money. I got my 20 in this year. Last year I lost on Kerry, I lost on Tyson, but lance made it all back. I'm ready to go.

To get going

Go to www.sportsbook.com
Create Login and well...Login
Go to "Other" bets in nav
Scroll to "Exotic" (how weird is that)
Click "Tour de France"
Do you damage

2. Set up your TDF Fantasy team on Cyclingnews.com

These games always frustrate me but I play none the less. I can't really get the strategy down. I like to pick names I know and last year I spent a shit load on Pettachi..and he SUCKED. I like Horner this year, he's going for a stage. He wants to be the next Ekimov....my next piece will be on him.

3. OLN TV Schedule - Know your time difference

I get screwed being on the west coast but all you East coast guys are SET! You get into work and tune into OLN on TV or the Internet. OLN coverage is awesome...I remember the days of ABC broadcasting highlights on weekends...those were the dark days. I always find the easiest thing to do is tune into the official website at www.letour.com and get the broadcast or updates from there. I love cyclingnews.com and velonews live race coverage but the graphics and time splits on the letour.com site are awesome.

Race hard and watch TV...you'll never be a better cyclist after july!

A Serb, A Tool and A Dog Lover

2005-04-28T00:14:00.000-07:00

Dedicated to Dominic who lent me his bike..thanks-it saved my ass

Every year there is a surprise in the US peleton...last year it was Webcor this year it is Ivan Stevic and the Aerospace Engineering Group team. Stevic won the RR at Sea Otter and then hammered the field in all three races at Bisbee! Who the hell is this guy...Serbian National Champion I know but thats like being the strongest guy in the room of computer geeks. Check out the Aerospace Engineering website...http://www.aerospacecycling.com/ once you start digging there is something weird. Lots of eastern europeans, based in florida, incorporated in the bahamas...its just different to say the least. Still...they got some shit going on, i need to add their link to the team list.

To answer some friends....

Why is Tom Danielson a Tool by me

Exhibit A. Personal Website (thanks for the wedding pictures form last winter dumbass)

Exhibit B. Cyclingnews.com journal - when you win the biggest race of your carreer for the best team in the world you might want to get a few words in there. Have your freaking mom do it for christ sake. Oh hell, i'm cheap, i'd do it for a hat!

Exhibit C. The hair must be fixed

And Tyler Hamilton is almost completely detached from reality now...its pretty interesting to check out his website. Half ode to dogs, half invective about the unfairness of life and the USADA.

The Next Cool American

2005-04-04T23:00:00.000-07:00

All this talk of lance retiring and the next generation of cyclists bugs me. Tom Danielson, recent Tour of Georgia winnner seems like such a weenie...I like Dave Zabriske, I saw him at Morgan Hill and he kicked ass. The duel between him and Clinger (who looks bad ass, DON"T LOSE THE INK CLINGER!) was cool.

I remember back in 97-98 the next great American hope was going to be Bobby Julich. I know I should be happy for Bobby Julich's victory at the Paris Nice and his renewed vigor the last two years. He's a great comeback story afterall. I just can't shake the feeling he is a tool.

When I was a junior, and Bobby was a junior, I heard from a bunch of friends that went to nationals that he was target of a lot of pranks. I thought this was kind of cruel until they explained it was because he would throw temper tantrums when he couldn't find his vitamins. To the point that he would call his Dad in Colorado crying. Sounded weird.

I was pretty impressed that he made it over to Europe with Motorola. I was even more impressed when he finished third in the 98 tour with Cofidis which I covered for AOL. He seemed to avoid all the doping scandals going on at the time.

It was a tough time for US cycling and he looked like the next great hope. In 99 he was poised to do great things.... but he crashed, Lance won, and the rest is history. Apparently he was a real pain in the ass while on Credit Agricole. He wanted his own cook, and better rooms and all kinds of stuff that the French team balked at.

Let's hope that SO PRO Jones makes it over to Europe...he could be the coolest thing in American cycling since Bob Roll. SO PRO just needs to change his website to something other than PINK...whats up dude, you trying to get on T Mobile?

DO YOU GET THAT WEB MASTER? NO PINK

California Racing

2005-04-04T21:11:00.000-07:00

For Hal, stay on the bike

In Europe spring is time for the hard nose races of Northern France and Flanders. In the US it means C-A-L-I -F-O-R-N-I-A! You have to admit that American's flock to the promised land for sunny stage races while the Europeans tough it out in snow and rain across hard cobbled roads.

It was a big month for California racing...

It all started off with the San Dimas Stage Race (formerly the race known as Pomona Valley) down in So-Cal. Their website is down...i guess they shut down after the race is over. HealthNet just crushed the field in the opening Time Trial placing 4 guys in the top five. One of the resident Canadians (Gord Fraser) went on for the win.

The Tour of California was announced for next February. This sounds very cool but it sort of has this wishy washy United Tour of Texas vibe going. Either way. it is right by my house...SWEET!

Simultaneously some dipshit city councilman tried to put the Kaibash on the San Francisco Grand Prix because of police costs. They will probably move to Seattle or some other annoying west coast city. Email the annoying councilman and give him a piece of mind.

Anyway...Redlands just finished. HealthNet dominated again, getting win for Wherry but they are starting to lose some friends in the pack. Apparently Healthnet just rode the legs off of everybody (April 1 post) for the hell of it.

Sea Otter is up next...its the last of the big Cali races until San Francisco, if it happens. A bunch of cool european mtn bike pro's usually show up for this one. Last year Belgian doper,Filip Meirhaeghe, showed up for the Mtn bike race and did some local Cali road races before he tested positive. I supposed Healthnet will dominate again unless Horner comes back with some Spanairds.

Track Is Back!

2005-03-12T19:58:00.000-08:00

Dedicated to Brian who made his sacrifice this weekend to the Sacred Oval in Hell

The most exciting sports event in the world is coming up in LA on March 24...Track World Championships. Dollar for dollar you will not get any better than this. I have been reading Hearts of Lions and the first half of the book is about the US track scene in the early 20th century. It was huge, and my guess is a huge party, considering the amount of liquor, gambling, and fornicating that took place at Madison Square Garden and other venues. My theory is the track was so big back in the day because it was a big center of crime, booze and partying much like the modern Japanese Keirin Circut.

What is the tie in to D3 you ask? Oh...many my friend. For starters, the Hombre himself Marty Nothstein will be making his FINAL worlds appearance. This guy is HUGE, 6'2" 188 lbs, and is still plugging away for the Navigators. Let's hope Marty can tear himself away from the ladies to grab one last medal. It might help him sell some of his videos...

Jame Carney, which is a name that should go down in the history books if you ask me, is putting in an appearance. This guy has been around forever. He's Jonas's brother and he can sprint like a mad man, he won the scratch race at the Moscow world cup last month. But this dude has some bad hair...check the mullet

Colby Pearce, probably the best chance the US has for a medal, is taking time off his gig as coach for TIAA CREF to race. Bobby Lea, who i remember as this little skinny kid showing up for kiddee junior races back in Jersey and PA is also on the team. This kid is going to be a monster...he's 21 and winning races.

There are three foreign contingents you have to check out.

The Aussies - They are BAD ASS. They all train at the AIS which is like the Thunderdome...only the fit survive.
The Dutch - Coolest bikes ever!
The Chinese- This one girl they have Shuang Guo is the next big thing. She's fast and mean. Hopefully she'll be there.

Buy some tickets and get to the races...they should be pretty sweet

Be Way Cool and Get a Used Keirin Bike

George Hincapie: Cool American

2005-03-02T17:48:00.000-08:00

It warms my heart when Americans do well in Europe but when Georgie wins I get really excited! He was the big man in Ghent a few years ago, was Lance's Hammer at the tour last year and showed those Belgians a thing or two on Sunday. I love it when Americans beat belgians in belgium. I hope he takes the Paris Roubaix in April.

Back in the day George and Jonas Carney were the big guns on the East Coast Junior circut. George was a huge kid even then. My recollection is at 14 he was six feet and 170 lbs. I was a good two years older at 5'2" and 115. At big NJ crits like the Nutley Classic and Tour Of Sommerville George would crush the under 14, crush the under 16, win or place on the podium for under 18 then get top 10 in the Pro 1/2. That's talent no matter how big you are.

Even though Georgie got busted at Corestates for drafting a team car in 97, which i think is very cool, I always heard he was a nice guy. Apparetnly he would split primes with guys that used ot lead him out. The only negative thing i heard is he wasn't too bright at 14. Afriend told me he always mis-spelled "junior" - "junor." I guess he doesn't really care now if he was a great speller.

It's On

2005-02-20T20:40:00.000-08:00

Racing has started! Finally... I couldn't talk about the Belgians any more.

Tour Down Under - Navigators get crushed, read a the tale of survial

Tour of Langkawi - O'Neil get the TT, their russian gets a couple of thirds

Tour de Med - Navigators 12th in the TTT )I kind of feel bad for Navigators, they need some belgian milkshakes )

St Valentines Day Massacre (Brea Crit) - Saunders power meter file

El Cajon Crit - Dan Schmatz Recap is cool...sprinters perspective (2.14)

Valley of the Sun - Roberto Gagioli came in 2nd in the crit...i thought Roberto was banned?

Problem Child - Compare and contrast 2004 Clinger to 2005 Clinger

For Sale and Other Stuff

So Pro Clothes and Equipment
Saunders cool bike
Work for the Ford Basis Women...they are cute and funny!
Winter Inspiration from Endeavor Neo Pro

Decanio and the Belgians

2005-01-29T01:20:00.000-08:00

It is just too easy this week. Please, please go to www.stolenundergound.com if you have not already and see just how C-R-A-Z-Y Matt Deccanio is. It really is a bizzare experience. Look...I am with him on his whole anti drugs thing, but nobody... and i mean anyone, should ever say they are doing something "for the kids." It sounds way, way, WAYYYY too much like a weird Michael Jackson quote. I love Saunders little bit on how you should know what you are getting when you hire a crazy mofo like that (1/25.) He is even selling "The Official Matt Deccanio Termination Letter" on ebay... it is all so punk i love it. I'll hire him for my D3 Team next year...

Speaking of anti drugs... it is the World Cyclocross Championships on Sunday. Guess who is favored to win...hmmm... i don't know, maybe, could it be, perhaps a Belgian? I mean do the odds... which country of ten million people wouldn't sweep a major international sporting event. I have been searching for the official sports book odds on who will win and the best i can do is an article from L'Equipe, which predicts Nys. They are really streatching it there. Good luck to Page and the Velo Bella girls. You are going to need it.

Small stuff
-I guess Danny Pate is a bit of a tool (1/27), he apparently fled from the Tuscon home in dead of night
-I love all the Velodromes that keep it going... St Louis is hardcore!
-I like theprostuff.com, Henk Vogels bike. How cool is that?
-Lance has a radio show, email him @ LanceArmstrong@Sirius-Radio.com and request some AC/DC for me

Training Camps and Boredom Shopping

2005-01-19T22:41:00.000-08:00

Outside of reporting on how many Belgians might be doing dope there isn't anything good going on. Discovery Channel's training camp sounds a little creepy so far. Poor Salvodelli broke his collar bone, and they have a bunch of "staff updates", and pics of bikes and what not on the Paceline site. I think i am a little creeped out by the "casual shots" of Lance and the local reporters articles. I know she writes for the Daily Peleton but it still has a stalker vibe to it.

Everybody else is waiting for camp...So Pro is getting pumped for his own Solvang trip, McGuires camp isn't till February (see 1/18 entry), and the Navigators are just skipping camp and gettting to it Down Under. I was looking at some of the links in other guys journals, John Lieswyn, to the races in NZ and AUS and they get on these regional teams for local races. They look so bizarre dressed up in their weird euro/Japanese style cartoon outfits. To be honest the most interesting stuff I have read is form Barbarella who is making a go of it on the women's CX circuit overseas this year, now that is hard core

Any hoo... not much else to do but cruise and look for stuff to by. So Pro is auctioning a jersey for a charity of sorts. Saunders is trying to move his old track bike (1/17) and I been spending my time trying to figure out if i got ripped off for this stupid shirt i ordered from Italy. I crossed the line from cyclist to weird fan guy when I put in the order.

Oh Really! Belgian 'crosser Berden positive

2005-01-12T06:59:00.000-08:00

Now nobody can tell me they didn't see this coming...Belgian 'crosser Berden positive

Week 2 Going Crazy and Doping in Belgium

2005-01-08T19:31:00.000-08:00

Things are slow all over. Our domestic guys are going stir crazy with their winter training. Saunders is posting movie reviews and So Pro Jones is creating a completely alternative universe where bike teams and coaches work more to his liking. These guys better hit a race soon or they might damage some neurons. Things definitely are slow when the Velonews announces the Subway team roster as front page news. Here is a tip though guys. When you make your announcement send a team photo and your jersey logo.

(At a minimum send your sponsors logo in an EPS or GIF. Everybody is so desperate for news this time of year they will probably publish it. Your sponsor will love you and it will add some nice filler to your roster press release.)

I know it is old news but it makes for a good segue into what I really want to talk about. Tyler Hamiltons post on December 12 is chock-a-block CRAZY. Apparently there is some scandal about a former racer trying to black mail the Phonak team. It is one of those... this guys said I would be positive and other people would be positive if you don't pay me deals. Very 24ish... but hamilton goes on with all these quotes from different publications and how independent observers tagged him as positive, yadda yadd a yadda. I got tired just reading it.

But you know who never gets tired? THE BELGIAN'S!

I feel kind of bad for our guys slugging it out on the Euro cross scene. Page, Treefarm, Powers, and all those guys are putting their livelihoods on the line and are up against they (obviously) doped up Belgians. I mean come on...give me a break. Here are some loosely related facts to help you make the connection.

5. Museeuw Guilty - The Lion gets the hook

4. Even the Americans are suspicious - "Gee... i don't know why the belgians are so strong every week. It makes you wonder!"

3. Top 5 CX UCI Rankings - Belgian, Belgian, Belgian, GOOSE! If there were five americans in the top of the tour de france you would wonder right? Remember, Belgium is only a population of 10 million.

2. De Clerq named - Former Belgian and World CX Champ tied into the Landuyt doping investigation ... not looking good.

1. Even the Filip Meirhaeghe - I mean i know he's not in CX but this belgian guy didn't even pretend. He just quit and packed it in.

Good luck to the yanks at St Wendel... i think you will need it.

Week 1 - US Teams and Ill Will

2005-01-02T02:29:00.000-08:00

USA Cycling had a sent out a little press release on 12/21 listing the new US teams for 2005. I love looking up stuff on their site, it always seems like a mess. I talked to their web guy on the phone once, and he seemed nice but a little over his head. I wanted to get to a list of press releases and I got an index file. Anyway...After looking for half an hour in the USA Cycling site I had to go to Spokepost.com and find the press release on the addition of Endeavour and Sierra Nevada - Ofoto team to the roster of US D3 teams. Open note to USA Cycling - Put a link on your site that says Press Releases, it just might help! No wonder USA Cycling is going bankrupt all the time.

I guess the UCI made some late additions, which is a little weird. There seems to be some ill will going on with some of the riders that were on Ofoto and McGuire. It is hard to get the whole picture at the moment but it sounds like some folks got screwed: Check out Eric Saunders comments regarding the "disbandment and looting" of the Ofoto team(see Dec 2 entry.)

Erik has ended up on McGuire, the former or current team of Mike Taylor. I need an update here people! I can't tell from Mikes sigos (significant other) last entry on the Ritchey site if he is still with McGuire or not. Joni, the sigo, is a total tease. It sounds like some assistant manager on McGuire or some other Nor Cal D3 team did something they shouldn't have, but no good details are provided. She goes on to compare the D3 cycling world to the Sopranos, dead bodies and all. Totally bizarre, but some obvious hurt feelings are out there. Come on Joni... share the details. Tell me where the bodies are buried!